Challenging thoughts

Hello again, it's good to be back.                              

As you may have guessed from the title of this post, I have had a challenging week. I had a fun weekend celebrating a wedding AND an engagement party. I made the most of the opportunity to fully express my social nature and made some lovely new friends :)

All was well until Sunday evening when I was struck down by the lurgy (no it wasn't a hangover, honest!). The lurgy lingered all week leaving me tired and listless. I had to cancel all of my plans, which meant I missed out on last Monday's Consciously Female session. It was the second-last session of the Silver club and I was gutted to miss it.
  However, I decided not to let it hold back my progress and spent time reading over what I have learned so far and continued writing in my journal and listening to the CD. Usually if I have been cooped up in the house without much social contact, I get really down and it can even kick off an episode of depression. So, here I am at the end of a difficult week and actually my mood is fine. There is no threat of depression hanging over me. I believe it's purely because I have kept my thoughts on a positive track and have looked after myself. Instead of berating myself for time lost or for letting people down, (including one of my best friends) I accepted that I needed rest. I'm also at the most tiring point in my cycle, a time when my energy levels are naturally low and if I had pushed myself I probably would be suffering from a low mood right now.
  
It's been a really powerful lesson and has reaffirmed the wisdom of Dawn's teaching. I've tried as far as possible to use this quiet period wisely. I have enjoyed long hours of indulgent reading, have spent time thinking about and planning my Open Uni studies next year and I've also resurrected a fantasy novel I began writing when I was 13.

From next week I'm going to try and include at least one 'quiet' day just for me to read, reflect or whatever without any other demands on my time, I'll let you know how that works out...

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Embracing The Season

It seems an age since I last posted, thanks to an extremely temperamental laptop my blogging has been on hold. My life however, has been on a fast forward or at least that's how it seems.
  At the start of Autumn I pictured long walks in colourful knitwear, holding hands with my other half and planning a wonderful Christmas. The reality has been very different. Everything seems to be going through a major shift, especially my relationship. As we have negotiated new boundaries and reviewed timescales, I've experienced intense emotional upheaval.
  It started almost two weeks ago when I confessed at a Consciously Female evening that I felt myself changing in a powerful way on the inside. My confidence is rising and so is the need to really live my life in the best way for me. I feel this amazing energy gathering within me and demanding expression!
  It's incredibly exciting but also slightly frightening....where will this new energy take me? Am I brave enough to follow?



I now see that it's inevitable that my relationship would be the first thing to be affected, my partner is the closest person to me and the one who is experiencing the changes in me the most. Although I'm still going through this period of growth and it's not easy, it feels right. I feel empowered. As I took my 3 mile walk around Arthur's Seat this morning the answer came to me - I am going through a season, that's all. It's nothing to get too upset or worried about, it's just a period of growth. I made a conscious decision today to let go of worry, to let go of control and just allow things to unfold naturally. That's what Dawn teaches us in our classes and she is a lady who knows what she is doing. So just as I accept and make the most of Autumn or look forward to the snow in Winter, I choose to appreciate and make the most of this season in my life.


 
Consciously Female Website

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